The Twins

January 1963, a year after arriving in Australia, the twins were born. We were very poor and had no idea that we were expecting twins. We had bought only 1 outfit to bring the babies home in and Dad had to go and buy a second one after they were born.
Anneliese sent Mum this lovely twins outfit a year later and when she first appeared with them in the canteen everyone admired this beautiful outfit. Gerd is with them in the above photo.

Mum's Grandmother

And here is a photo of Mum's grandmother (Anna) ouside of her house next to the mill.
And next to Anna is her daughter Fienchen (Mum's aunt).

the old Mill

Here are a few photos that I took of the old mill where Mum's grandparents lived for many years. The picture on the bottom left hand side is the back of the house where they lived. Next to it you can see a waterfall and a bridge. Above the waterfall on the side of the house (not in view) was the kitchen window and Mum told me that it had to always stay shut because of the noise of the waterfall. Underneath was a cellar window and it is here that Mum's grandmother used to stand and fish treasures out of the river. One such treasure was an empty cigar box which Mum still has.

A war Story

During my last year at school, about 3 or 4 months before graduation, once again like many nights, we spent the night in the bunker. I was standing next to a schoolfriend. During the conversation I asked her what she planned to do after graduation. Before we could commence with an apprenticeship or trade we had to spend one year in public service either working for a large family or for a farmer. She told me that she wanted to spend this year with a farming service initiative. I liked this idea and so I immediately applied for this. Had to spend 3 days at a camp where they tested to see if we were suitable for this posting and also if we had the right attitude. When I graduated I went into the “Bergische Land” (a state in germany). The camp was in an old mill in the forest. This accommodated about 30 of us girls. During the day we had our allotted place of work and the evening meal we had together at the campsite. Our leader was young and I liked her. We had nice evenings together when she played her guitar and we sang. I was working for a forest hunter. At our campsite was a small creek that earlier on must have driven the mill wheel. I can still remember that large rats used to come in through the cellar window. And during the night when the air raid sirens went, nobody wanted to be first in the cellar. So we used to throw brooms and all sorts of things down the cellar stairs.
Wednesday afternoon was our afternoon off. That is, we didn’t have to go to our normal jobs but had to help out at the campsite. Everyone had their allotted chores. I was usually working in the kitchen. Large kitchens had always fascinated me and the others were not all that keen on kitchen duties. One Wednesday, probably late autumn, we had to collect wood in the forest. There happened to be 5 of 6 of us girls together and we all came from the left side of the Rhine. During a break we sat and could hear the front coming closer all the time. Later on the enemy was pushed back again. Then I told the others, if they dynamite the bridge over the Rhine, we will never get home again. So we formed a plan that we would run away during that night. We only told the girls who slept in our rooms of our plan. After everyone had gone to bed, we started. We packed our things. Tied together the belts from our trench coats, so that we could lower the suitcases from our windows. We set our leader’s alarm clock one hour later. Then in the middle of the night we walked through the forest to the 2nd train station, so that they would not find us and collect us again the next morning wen the other woke up. Then we had to wait for the first train which was due around 6am. Everything went like clockwork. Mother was very surprised when she saw me but Father was concerned and told me that I needed to go back because he didn’t want any difficulties with the Hitler Youth organisation. During the night was a very bad air raid. The next morning Mum took me away again. No trams were operating because there had been a lot of destruction during the night. We had to walk across the Rhine bridge to the other side where the first tram was operating. Mother said goodbye and cried and I was convinced that I would never come home again. Later on when I was older and had my own children I often thought about how Mother must have felt.
I was the only one who returned. My punishment was to help out in the kitchen for several Sundays. But that didn’t bother me. Things continued for a few months. The air raids became more and more severe. Especially during the day. The woman I worked for was terribly frightened and used to come towards me in the morning as I arrived, already on her way to the bunker. The bunker was a tunnel under the train tracks which was used as an air raid bunker. The house where I worked stood right next to the train tracks. One day…my employer had already been for hours in the bunker, her husband took his bike at the last moment also to ride to the bunker. Above on the train tracks stood a red cross train which the enemy was shooting on from their planes. The airplane was so low and close I did not have time to make it to the bunker. I ran into the cellar and ran in circles like a wild animal that had been locked up. Then I heard the bombs drop. The hand rails from the cellar steps came down into the cellar and everything was covered in dust and dirt. But suddenly there was silence and I was glad to be alive. A few hours later I was rescued from the cellar. I don’t know how much later it was when I came home from work and the youth leader told us that the Americans were already on the left side of the Rhine and that during the night we were to leave the hostel. We had a few handcarts onto which we packed our belongings and set off in the rain in direction Radevorwald where the entire Hitler Youth were ordered. It was a youth hostel.
(to be continued)

The start of war - (expanded)

It must have been towards evening of the 8th Feb 1930 when I was born in Neuss by the Rhine. Because later on my mother told me that it was Saturday during Carnival and that the first person who picked me up was a neighbour in a white mouse costume on her way to the Costume ball. This was most likely what started my love for carnival. We were very poor but did not need to be because my father had a good job as fitter and welder and worked hard consistently. Unfortunately he converted most of his income into alcohol. My mother did not feel well living in backstreets in the middle of the city. She grew up in the country. When she visited our family doctor he told her “make sure you get out of these alleys. I can recognise your children from far away when I pass through these backstreets”. The apartment we lived in was provided by my father’s employer. This was a pasta factory and they also manufactured custard powder and Dr. Oetker products and sometimes when we woke up in the morning there was a bowl of green jelly on the table which Mother had made for us after Dad had returned home with his portions. That was always a big surprise for us. I had a brother who was 6 years older than me. His name was Theo. And a little sister who was 6 years younger than me. Anneliese was very small and weak when she was born. And from the beginning on I could feel very strongly Mother’s worries about her. She had problems with her digestion and Mother tried everything. Sometimes even though we had very little money she bought things in the department store which I ended up eating when Anneliese didn’t want them. One thing I will never forget is that Mother was boiling the washing on the kitchenstove. She picked up the large kettle and put the hot washing in the small washkitchen which was next to our kitchen. She didn’t see that Anneliese was following her and immediately put her arm into the big kettle. I never forgot those screams. Mother called out to me: run and fetch the doctor. He live a few streets away.
One day I went with Mother looking for a new apartment in the same village where my grandmother lived. But it was no use. One day my aunt visited. This was fathers’ half-sister of whom I will write another time. I can remember that there were brochures on the table for some new village houses that were being built. And my aunt promised us the deposit which as I recollect was DM 500. When the houses were built we often accompanied Mother when she visited Reuschenberg. And a few weeks before we shifted, we took a small hand cart with toys with us. It was 1938 when we moved into our new house and in 1939 the war started.
In August 1939 the war started. We (Mother, Anneliese and I) wanted to attend Kirmes (which was an annual festival something like a mixture of moomba and the show…with fairgrounds and parades and balls). Father had already been called up for military service and on the morning of that Monday we accompanied Father as he took off for military service. Afterwards we wanted to go to Kirmes. Mother and Anneliese had new dresses made from the same material. For long afterward Anneliese would call the dress her “kirmes dress”. When we arrived at the Rhine Harbour people were coming towards us who told us that they were pulling down the fairground (due to the war). In the evening Father returned and had been declared unfit for military service. Half a year earlier he had broken his leg when he fell from his bike whilst he was drunk. That is how he was saved from going to the front in Poland. Not many people returned from that first battle.
I didn’t have much idea of what was meant by war. I can clearly remember the 1st air raid warning. Father woke me up in the middle of the night. We went down into our cellar and sat there and waited until the siren announced the end of the attack. Later we discovered quickly what was meant by war. We lived in an industrial area and the attacks became more and more frequent and more aggressive. Anneliese almost grew up in the cellar. At night when the siren sounded, Mother would pick up Anneliese together with her bedding and carried her into the cellar. There we had a tin bath with a straw sack and Anneliese would continue to sleep. When the attacks became so heavy I was terribly afraid and I asked Mum if I could take part in the Child Migration to the Country scheme. Everything else I arranged myself. Formally applied and everything must have happened very quickly. Can still remember that our neighbour spent the entire night helping Mother get my clothes sorted out and ready. We were advised that children were being transferred to “Schlesien” which is in North East Germany. My mother and my brother Theo took me to the station and a card was hung around my neck with the name of my foster parents. Can still remember that Theo came into the train and asked would I not rather stay at home? It was January 1941 and in February I was to turn 11. After a long night on the train we arrived in Schlesien. I was picked up by a horse sled. And accompanied by the chimes of bells was taken through the winter forest. A beautiful experience that I have never forgotten. We arrived at a large farm property which had a proper castle. I was housed by the Manager of the estate and that would become my home for an entire year.

Neuss 1930 (expansion on earlier blog entry)

It must have been towards evening of the 8th Feb 1930 when I was born in Neuss by the Rhine. Because later on my mother told me that it was Saturday during Carnival and that the first person who picked me up was a neighbour in a white mouse costume on her way to the Costume ball. This was most likely what started my love for carnival. We were very poor but did not need to be because my father had a good job as fitter and welder and worked hard consistently. Unfortunately he converted most of his income into alcohol. My mother did not feel well living in backstreets in the middle of the city. She grew up in the country. When she visited our family doctor he told her “make sure you get out of these alleys. I can recognise your children from far away when I pass through these backstreets”. The apartment we lived in was provided by my father’s employer. This was a pasta factory and they also manufactured custard powder and Dr. Oetker products and sometimes when we woke up in the morning there was a bowl of green jelly on the table which Mother had made for us after Dad had returned home with his portions. That was always a big surprise for us. I had a brother who was 6 years older than me. His name was Theo. And a little sister who was 6 years younger than me. Anneliese was very small and weak when she was born. And from the beginning on I could feel very strongly Mother’s worries about her. She had problems with her digestion and Mother tried everything. Sometimes even though we had very little money she bought things in the department store which I ended up eating when Anneliese didn’t want them. One thing I will never forget is one day when Mother was boiling the washing on the kitchenstove. She picked up the large kettle and put the hot washing in the small washkitchen which was next to our kitchen. She didn’t see that Anneliese was following her and immediately put her arm into the big kettle. I never forgot those screams. Mother called out to me: run and fetch the doctor. He live a few streets away.
One day I went with Mother looking for a new apartment in the same village where my grandmother lived. But it was no use. One day my aunt visited. This was fathers’ half-sister of whom I will write another time. I can remember that there were brochures on the table for some new village houses that were being built. And my aunt promised us the deposit which as I recollect was DM 500. When the houses were built we often accompanied Mother when she visited Reuschenberg. And a few weeks before we shifted, we took a small hand cart with toys with us. It was 1938 when we moved into our new house and in 1939 the war started.

My Grandmother's house

My mother was born in the State of Westfalia. She had two sisters and one brother. When Mother was 8 years old the family moved to the Rhineland. My Grandmothers house stood next to the mill where my Grandfather worked. Half of the house stood in the water right next to a waterfall which in earlier years used to drive the mill. You could see the waterfall from the cellar window and my grandmother spent hours at this window fishing out bits of wood and other flotsam that floated past. Sometimes she also found cigar boxes which she then dried and gave to us kids. She used to tell us stories that they came from the far away ocean. I still have one of these cigar boxes which has now also found its way to Australia.
She used to dry the wood and so she always had enough wood to fire the large kitchenstove. She had a very difficult youth, had a stepmother who often hit her. She had to find everything she needed herself – such as pencils and chalk to write with (they used to write on little slates at that time).
Stormy weather used to frighten her terribly and she would hide in the attick. She had no time at all for doctors and cured all health problems via her own remedies. On one of my visits she told me that the pig had lost its appetite and didn’t want to eat. So she cut a piece off the pig’s tail because she felt that this would help. I went into the pigsty and there was the pig with a bandage around it’s tail. When I came home and told Mother she was very worried and got on her bike to ride to Oma’s place. And the next day we ended up having a slaughter feast!
My grandmother’s bedroom always smelled of apples. She used to store her apples on the wardrobe. Her two apple trees supplied them with apples for the entire year. I loved Oma very much because I always had good times with her.
At the end of war, Oma together with her neighbours were hiding in the mill. And the American soldiers thought that the mill was housing German soldiers and so the mill was under heavy gunfire. One night Mother picked Oma up with the help of a small hand cart. And after that she never fully recovered. She was over 80 years old and very weak. She did not live much longer. Mother told me that the first cherries had ripened and she put some into Oma's mouth. She noticed a change in her mother’s facial expression and started to cry. Oma asked her: “why do you cry?” and then died. She herself didn’t feel anything.

A Christmas Tale

When I was a young girl we lived in the middle of the city and I loved looking at the people walking past from our first story window. Once a few days before Christmas I saw people go home carrying a Christmas tree. As we came closer to Christmas I began to worry that we still didn’t have a Christmas tree. Eventually it was Christmas Eve – the 24th of December. Finally in the morning my Father said: come, now we get ourselves a Christmas tree. It had snowed and we went to a nursery outside of the city. My father took great pains to select the right Christmas tree. It had to be totally even all round. This was very important to him. Later on I also understood why. He had made the stand for our Christmas tree himself and the best thing about it was that it could be turned. That is why the Christmas tree had to be even all round.

The drama started in the evening, when we were already in bed. By this stage Father was already quite drunk. Mother had to decorate the tree. Sitting on the couch, Father directed and told Mother where each bauble had to go. Mother became more and more nervous. The big balls had to go right at the bottom and then evenly decreasing in size as they went up the tree. It had to look the same from all directions. Later on during the war it was impossible to buy any Christmas decorations and they became fewer and more and more valuable. By this stage we were no longer living in the city but in a village house. One Christmas eve I heard from my bed Father getting more and more drunk and Mother more and more nervous and then it happened. She took the entire tree together with decorations and threw it through the window into the yard. This must have been a big shock for my Father and of course for me too, even though I wasn’t fully aware of what had happened. It became very quiet. And finally when Father was in bed, she went and brought the tree back in and luckily because of the snow outside not too many decorations had broken.
Years later, after I was married with three children, we migrated to Australia. We tried very hard to maintain our beautiful German Christmas tradition. The first years I always wished that it would at least rain on Christmas eve. It was so difficult to create the right Christmas atmosphere on Christmas eve when the sun was shining brightly and the day was warm. And there was no hope of getting a proper Christmas tree. We went into the bush to find something that looked similar to the German pine trees. Then over the years things improved and eventually we even had a Christmas tree…not the same as in Germany but similar. But I could never decorate the tree because our custom was to only put the tree up after dinner on Christmas eve and then I was always busy with other things. Actually I was always a bit disappointed. The tree never looked the way my father taught me to decorate a tree. But I doubt if anyone else noticed. Then later on we started celebrating Christmas at Inge’s place. And so that I did not miss out on a tree for Christmas I finally had the opportunity to decorate my own Christmas tree. And I discovered that it was not all that easy. Now I am thankful when someone else does it.

Father - 1st story

Father’s mother lived in Essen in the Ruhr area. As a young girl she studied and at a student ball she became friendly with a fellow student. Eventually she became pregnant. As long a possible she kept her pregnancy a secret. She had only a stepmother and she didn’t want her to find out about it so eventually she confessed to her father. He then told his wife that Hedwig (I was eventually named after her) is not looking well so we need to send her somewhere for recuperation. In Neuss lived a woman who looked after babies when mother’s didn’t want to keep them. After giving birth she left the baby behind and everything became a big secret. The lady in Neuss put an ad in the local paper to find out if someone wanted to adopt the child. A woman who already had 2 grown up children – one girl and one boy – answered the ad. Later on her daughter married and took Father with her to continue to look after him. Her husband did not like my father and so difficulties developed. They then wrote to the guardian to find another home for my father. And that is what happened. But Father became homesick and missed his friends. I then heard later from a schoolfriend of my father’s who often came to visit us, that father returned and that the entire class picked him up at the train station. And so he was found another foster home in the same village.
He had a strong feeling of not fitting in anywhere. He didn’t even know that he had a half-sister. And his sister also didn’t know he exisited. I don’t really know when he saw his mother for the first time but I believe it was after he was married and it came about because his sister who was looking for something in her mother’s paper, found a letter from his legal guardian. She then told her mother, I would like to get to know this brother. That must have been the first time that his mother saw him. Her husband was also unaware of her big secret. She kept it from him despite the fact that her sisters told her to confess before her wedding day. One of her sisters (Aunt Malchen) owned a station-restaurant by the train station in Koeln-Muehlheim. I visited there several times with my Mother. Sometimes we stayed a few weeks and if my Oma was there I was not allowed to call her Oma. Because I was still very little I often forgot this and then Mother called me into the kitchen and told me: “you are not supposed to say Oma all the time”.
Everything I know about Father’s youth and childhood I know from my mother’s stories. Because Dad drank so much I never got very close to him. And I regret that now.

Mother's brother and cousin Hansie

Mother had a brother who lived directly by the Rhein and we had some great times there. They had two children called Maria and Hans. I remember one late evening when Mother called me out of Bed and in the dark we wandered through the fields. Mother often looked back…she must have thought Father was following us. We arrived at my uncles house and they still had visitors. We had a lovely evening with them. I had to sleep in Hansie’s bed, I must have been around 5 or 6 years old because Anneliese was not yet born. When we were in bed, Hansie instructed me not to get up before him in the morning. When I woked up the next morning, I tried to get up and he said: “just as I thought” …using his garters he had tied me to his leg. Hansie was conscripted to military service when he was 18 and sent to the front in Poland as a foot soldier. He was not keen on joining up and after 3 weeks he was dead. My aunt later told me that he had a premonition about his death. Contrary to my own brother who volunteered to join as a submarine sailor when he was only 17 years old.

Start of war

It must have been around 1939 when my mother who was holding the morning paper and looking very serious, one morning woke me up and told me that we were at war. There in large letters was the word WAR. How was I to know what war meant? I was only 9 years old, television was not yet discovered and I had only seldom visited the movie theatre. Hence I could not imagine the impact only that everything was happening far away from where I was living. For one year we had already been living in the lovely village house where I felt so safe and well. The large garden and many free fields in which to play. Quite a contrast to the city where I was born. Mum too was feeling much more content.
End of August was Kirmes in Neuss (an annual event which was a bit like the Oktoberfest in Munich, a combination of Show / Moomba, where there was a fairground, many parades, stalls/booths and dancing) to which Mother wanted to take me and Anneliese, who was then 3 years old. Father had already received his call to present himself for service. So in the morning we departed, first dropping father off and then heading to the fairground. As we approached the RheinHarbour (which was in the vicinity of the fairground) many people came towards us and told us that they were dismantling the fairground due to the war.
Late in the evening there was a knock on the door and here was Father who had been declared unfit for military service. Months before he had broken his leg when he fell off his bike in a drunken state and because of this one leg was a bit shorter than the other. I don’t think Mother was all that pleased…she had been looking forward to some peace!
In the middle of one night, Father called us out of bed and told us that there was an air raid. We sat around for an hour but didn’t hear anything and then we heard the sirens telling us it was over and we could return to bed. But slowly this happened more and more regularly and we spent many a night in the cellar. My little sister slept in the bathtub that was standing in the cellar and often didn’t even notice she was in the cellar because Mother carried her together with all her bedding into the cellar. These raids became more and more severe and you could feel the pressure in the air when bombs were dropping nearby. We no longer felt safe in our cellar and often ran under heavy anti aircraft artillery firing to the local school which had a stronger cellar. Later on via voluntary effort, a bunker was erected at the end of our street. I was always very frightened and asked Mother if I could take part in the migration of children to the country. I quickly made a decision to visit the social welfare and apply for migration. Mother saw to it that I was independent early in life. And that is how I ended up being transferred to the country….another story!

Neuss 1930

It must have been towards evening of the 8th Feb 1930 when I was born in Neuss. Because later on my mother told me that it was Carnival and that the first person who picked me up was a neighbour in a white mouse costume on her way to the Costume ball. This was most likely what started my love for carnival. We were very poor but did not need to be because my father had a good job and worked hard consistently. Unfortunately he converted most of his income into alcohol. My mother did not feel well living in the middle of town. She grew up in the country. Then in 1938 we moved into a village and mother was very happy living there. We watched them build our house and could hardly wait to move in. A few weeks earlier my brother – who was six years older than me – and I shifted all our toys using a small wheelbarrow. I also had a sister who was 6 years younger than me.